Banana Story - Revamped

The online orders were trilling, the phones were ringing, pizzas were flying out of the oven, and drivers were running to keep up with the rush. Shouts were called out every two or three minutes: “Run up!” or “Clear! Three minutes!” or “Bubble!” In the middle of everything, a coworker paused, "Have you ever delivered to the banana?" I gasped in surprise, "Yes, I have! Is that where you're going?"

In the pizza delivery business we meet a variety of folk from all different walks of life. In my four years with Dominos Pizza I've definitely had my share of the crazy. I've had a woman hiding behind a cracked door, covered in a blanket; a house with no lights at all; children running out to hug me; customers angry that I need to see their credit card with identification; and I've visited several strip clubs. But delivering to the banana man tops them all.

For each delivery our drivers have a printed tag with all of the customer's information on it: order, name, address, phone number, etc. There is also a section for special directions to assist the driver to arrive in a timely manner. There are notes like "second house on the left" or "walk path to side of house." When customers order online, they have complete control over what is written in that section. Customers have been using this feature as their own personal creative outlet. We get some interesting directions since this has become more popular; sing all opera at the door, roar like a bear, wear your wedding dress. We consider ourselves to be a fun bunch, so we try to humor them whenever we can. Most of the time the directions will tell us to draw something on the pizza box. I once drew a pretty rockin' T-Rex with a jet pack. I was proud of it, anyway.

One day I picked up a delivery order and the directions on the tag read, "Do not feed banana." I stared at it for a few seconds, wondering if I had read it right. I shared it with my coworkers, trying to find more information on if it was serious or not. Maybe they had a dog named Banana? Finally, I just decided I would see what it meant when I got there. That sort of thing happens a lot: I'll get directions on a delivery tag that make no sense whatsoever, until I arrive on location and everything becomes clear. So I took the banana delivery.

It was a house I've delivered to several times before. It's just a bunch of college students renting together. They're always nice. I knocked on the door and waited for my mystery to be solved. When the door opened, I found myself face to face with not a dog named Banana, but a grown man (young adult, I suppose) in a children's banana costume. There was a brief moment of us just looking at each other, I in shock, he in expectation. He then reached his arms out frantically for the food, silently wanting me to hand it over. Of course, I had my directions and they were now very clear. I pulled back the food and said, “I have been directed not to feed you.” His eyes went down and he slumped in sadness, but then perked up again and once more tried reaching for the food. As he did so, someone came running around the corner, pushing the banana-man away and screaming, "NO! No, Banana! No food for you! You do not get pizza. Get back! Go away!" The banana-man ran away in terror and I completed the transaction with the mostly normal, non-banana-man, receiving a lovely five dollar tip for playing along.  

Germany - The land of my birth

"New Town Hall" in Munich. Looks much
older than the "Old Town Hall."

Firstly - I'm writing on a really weird keyboard and I want to get done as soon as possible, so please forgive me if I get a little lazy with my writing. Really.

So we took a train from Prague to Munich. It seems so long ago. Right now, at this very moment, I'm sitting in a hostel in the Swiss Alps. But that's for the next blog. This one is about our experiences in Germany. One thing at a time, my friends!

Munich is an amazing city. Brandon was really excited about Germany because of his passion for WW2 history. I was excited for Germany because I was born in Memmingen, Germany, almost 27 years ago. Ew, gross. 27? Really? Let's pretend I didn't say that and move on.

The pillars are all pockmarked
from bombings. Up on the left
you can see a couple of patches.

Since we got in a little late, like 3:30 in the afternoon, it was too late to do any museums or tours so we just wandered around the city center by ourselves. The buildings all look so old. Some of them still have evidence of the bombings in WW2. We walked through large plazas and could just picture the major Nazi rallies that were probably held there. The next day we did a three hour city tour and found that we were correct in our assumptions. There's a big plaza outside of the Residence Hall where kings lived and Hitler held rallies there.

As we were walking into the city center we went through a plaza called Karlsplatz and there was a man preaching against Islam. That was right when we got into the city so it was an interesting welcome. There were cops all around him and a big crowd of people - some booing, some cheering. What was pretty scary about the situation was that there was a very large group of men and women who were obviously Islamic and who were getting a little crazy. There was a lot of yelling. I took some video and then we got out of there. I have no idea what he was saying, but the people were not pleased.

Brandon with his massive beer.

After our three hour long tour we went to the Hofbräuhaus which is an internationally known beer house. A king a long time ago was having beer shipped to him from far away and was costing the city a lot of money so he had his own beer house built. Eventually it was opened up for the people and they all sing cheers to him for that action to this day. They place is huge and the beers only come in one size - 1 liter. Brandon got one. We ended up spending more than two hours there because it took so long to get our food. The waiter first brought my food and we shared it. After about an hour and a half of him saying the kitchen is crazy and Brandon's dish is coming, he came back and said Brandon's dish was not coming and he has no idea what happened. Then after about 20 minutes Brandon's dish came. It was all very confusing. Also, it cut into our museum time like crazy and we were never actually able to go to one of the museums that I wanted to go to. 

Prison cells at Dachau.

The next day we went to Dachau. We got there pretty late as well because first we had to go rent our car. We had planned on picking it up at the train station across the street from our hostel but it turned out they had an Italian car at the airport which means that we don't have to pay the international dropoff fee which is 200 bucks. So the whole ordeal took a bit longer than expected. We tried to make it through everything at Dachau but we were just late enough that the crematorium closed before we got there. Brandon is still broken-hearted about that one. Some day we will go back to Germany and see the things we missed out on.

Two cool things about Munich:

1: When Hitler took power it was pretty much set in stone, and everyone knew it, that Germany was going to be going to war. Because of this a lot of people went around town with their personal cameras and took pictures of every detail that they could. After the war, when everything was completely destroyed, the city of Munich had two choices. They could either rebuild the exact same city or they could build a new city. Berlin decided to go the new city route. Munich took advantage of the pictures taken and rebuilt their city exactly how it was before the war - straight down to a cannonball that had been lodged in a church tower since the 30 Years War - see picture on the right.

2: Some cities have monuments and memorials for the people who suffered and/or died because of the Holocaust and Hitler's reign. Munich, again, decided to go a different route. They instead have a lot of small, more subtle memorials placed all around town. Most or all aren't labeled and you wouldn't know what it was unless someone told you. The one I have a picture of is a golden line of bricks in what is called "Dodger's Alley." Hitler had a memorial placed in the plaza across from the Residence Hall and required all who passed it to do the heil salute. If someone didn't do the salute, they would either be shot, beaten, or sent to a concentration camp. Scary, right? So the people who didn't want to do the salute would "dodge" the memorial through that alley to get to where they were going. The police eventually caught on and even going down that alley became dangerous.

Every city and town has its
own crest. This one is
Memmingen's on the
German flag.

After Munich we went to Memmingen which is where I was born. I never knew anything about the town because we left when I was a year old. So I really wanted to go see it. Today we told a couple of Germans that we went to Memmingen and they were incredibly confused. They said, "Why would you go there? There is nothing there." When I said I was born there they laughed and asked me why I didn't speak any German. The initial confusion was pretty funny.

Memmingen is the cutest little town. It was great to get out of tourist town. We went to dinner at a little pub with an old man who didn't speak a word of English. Brandon didn't get what he thought he ordered but we both smiled and he at it anyway. Turned out to be pretty good so everything is great. There happened to be a couple of trails laid out for tourists in the town center so we were able to get some fantastic exploring in. I don't feel like we missed out on anything.

So I think that's pretty much it for Germany. I mean, as always, there's more. When we get home I'll post all the pics with more information and adventures, but I think this blog is probably long enough. And I'm hungry. I want dinner. So, until next time, my friends!